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Sun, Sep. 26th, 2004, 12:44 am

-obtain higher paying job, at b+n or elsewhere
-move into a lovely loft in parkstone, with just my cat and my fish and my books and my dvds and me
-get rid of extraneous crap i don't need 3/7/04 - am working on this!
-obliterate memories that have no bearing on my present or future
-stop flirting endlessly with every boy that crosses my path
-learn to knit something other than a scarf or a part of a scarf
-get published
-phase the computer out of my life for good (sorry, i can't do this one, the pc is too essential to my craft and beneficial to my hobbies) =<
-make my own underpants
-learn to live on beer and rice and juice and water and fruit
-teach myself some polish so i can please my grandmother
-lose enough weight to fit into my shimmery pink pleated skirt
-wean myself off caffeine
-take at least 250 good pictures
-be blonde for at least a day
-remove myself from the lives of those who don't really care i finally think i've done this.
-learn to not care about anyone, myself
-sing karaoke
-bring back the art form of the handwritten letter/manuscript
-be shy
-captivate shyer boys from far away
-calm down
-learn to be alone
-live 3/7/04 it's a work in progress, daily, hourly

stuff to be added as i feel like it, crossed out when it happens, but hopefully never deleted.

Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004, 11:50 pm

the annoyingest day in the life of bex so far this week is happening today.

after a really really really great night/morning i was prepared for the day to go smoothly or at least not crappily. except that i was wrong and that is too bad. here is a rundown for the .05 people interested in the sucktastic qualities of my day.
-class was goofy because this was unofficially my last one ever, since i have Jury Duty (tm) next tuesday. and we had to turn in mountains upon mountains of old work that we did, and i have been playing hide and seek with ONE card out of my title sets for the entire semester. i find it, then it goes on a vacation, i convince it to come home, it leaves me again, i call it crying and threatening suicide and it comes back, and i thought that as of last week we had patched things up and the card was here to stay. unfortunately this is number one of my wrongness, because between tuesday and today it managed to take off yet again, without so much as a note. i have a feeling it ran off with one of the 5x8 index cards, because well they are impressive. so probably i will get docked 894583459385973.92 points for missing that one card. and then of course i completely bombed on my in-class essays cause in-class essays are the meanest thing ever.
-i came home hoping to have a pleasant little meal of something or another that resides in my cupboards or fridge, only to find that we literally have nothing. apart from the box of pasta something that i swear came home with me after the farm last year. not so much what i had in mind. so i remembered that we had leftover pizza from sunday, and thus it gets heated up and consumed. except that it tasted a little refrigeratory cause mom left the box slightly open when she "borrowed" some. i took a nap and woke up 1.5 hours later only to hurl. it was fun.
p.s. my mom's alarm clock has comic sans writing on it, which is quite possibly the most vile font to ever be invented, and why it is still in wide use i do not know.
-then dobie can't gallivant with me, which was to be the UTTER HIGHLIGHT of my day. no such luck. because that is how things go with me.
-i tried so very hard to bolster the spirits/give a pep talk to someone who doesn't even like me very much, i think.
-then i journey to donald's house to feed his "jake the cat" while he's on vacation, and i stop by work cause it's right down the street and i need to get some boxes to live in. my friend michael then makes me privy to all sorts of new shit that has apparently transpired in the day that i was away from work - steven the dept manager who took the job i wanted, is leaving to be a dept manager at the royal oak store. which leaves open the position that i wanted. hmph. which would be grand except that that really leaves me a big decision as to whether or not to apply for it or to just forge on ahead with my schooly thing. money vs. education. decision time. that and my store mgr is pissed at me because i talked to michael about stepping down, and not her. yay.
-my mommy and i go on a nice long three mile walk and talk about school and work and decisions and moving out and stuff. it's all fine and dandy until we're crossing the street about 4 blocks from home. there's a car coming but there's also a stop sign, so i figure, hey cool, right? totally safe to walk. except that the fucking cunt driving the car (and if you know me you know i only use the word cunt under extreme circumstances, and occasionally in front of small children just for fun) doesn't appear to be slowing down, so my mom pulls me back, and when the fucking cunt *does* stop her car (about five feet past the stopsign and the sidewalk) my lovely protective mother yells out 'idiot' to her, cause don't nobody mess with my momma's baby (that'd be me). then the cunt spouts off some rhetoric about stop signs meaning that they just have to stop "sometime before the intersection" which is probably the single fucking stupidest thing i have ever heard apart from anything bush has said. anyway so this bitch tried to kill me and then threatened to beat both my ass and my mom's ass, except that i would totally knock her in the girl junk and render her both unconscious and unsterile, quicker than she could formulate an action plan. unfortunately it didn't progress that far, which could have been the utter highlight of my day. there's nothing like a barroom-less barroom brawl on the streets of east detroit to end your day.

the goods were that i got to talk to a very good and special person for awhile, and on the walk my mom and i stopped in a sandwich/comic book shop on the edge of harper woods, which i will be visiting again. now i shall put an end to this annoying day and also to this annoying livejournal post.

and also, to this livejournal - in retrospect a lot of shit has gone down in my life in the twoish years i've maintained this journal, and while this is a committment record for me -seriously- i don't really feel like the person i was when i started this one, and even if i was, i don't think i'd want to be. growing, changing, evolving, all that, call it what you will - new journal is located at thepartyline. add, don't add, i don't care. there are a few people i hope will add that journal, but i am not holding anyone to anything, i promise and a half.

so. i guess that's that.

Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004, 08:41 pm

excruciatingly hard decision time! oh so fun.
argh. i thought i had it all figured out and set to go. but patches o'hoolihan is throwing wrenches at me.

Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004, 01:15 pm
cram it in your cramhole

the *one* night of the year that my mom actually makes real food (fajitas), i am out and about. figures. but i do have a snail tape dispenser and an andy warhol puzzle (marilyn) and a present for kristen that she will love because she loves me and wants to get in my pants.

i've realised that i won't get to see my best friend at all before he leaves. =(

i get to read ADULT books now - books with sex! books with violence! books with sex AND violence! speaking of adults and kids, this is probably the best interview ever.

did i mention i have eighty hours of vacation time....? cause i do. someone should make me go on a big fat vacation. or numerous small ones.

Wed, Jun. 23rd, 2004, 12:29 am

with any luck, i will be the proud owner of a dressmakers dummy this weekend. i shan't go into the titillating details just yet, for fear of jinxing it, but i will have you know that this is just one of the many things my little crafty heart desires, so it's unbearably exciting for me! *hope hope hope*

i did have a talk with one of my managers today, about my recent feelings of uselessness/lack of ambition at work and my fears were assuaged. we also talked of some personal stuff that's wreaking havoc on my mental state, cause he's a good guy who cares about his workers for the most part. anyway there was talk of moving me to children's, now that lindsay's gone on maternity leave, but i told him i wasn't necessarily okay with that - i would normally love taking over the kids department, but since my life is in such a flux right now as far as school and work, i didn't feel comfortable taking over a position only to drop it in a few months when school starts for real. i'm just not the type to knowingly, willingly, and worse, secretively, screw management over. so, we shall see. basically he told me not to worry and that whatever i decide is fine, that they have faith in me. so that was minorly helpful to my day. and my telling you all about it was pretty lame, but i will have you know that i do not care!

i can still feel the place on my face where i snipped myself with scissors - purely accidental. teehee.

tonight i will sleep for more than four hours... and tomorrow.... :D

AND.... today i found out that i have EIGHTY HOURS of vacation time to use up! wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!! two whole weeks!

Mon, Jun. 21st, 2004, 05:25 pm

remember the good old days when i worked at the farm and ate nothing but crackers and ephedra and i could walk out in public in a bikini? yeah me too =( someday soon i'll accept the fact that i just have a thicker, more muscular physique than i'd like, and i'll just tone up.

my mom just brought me a harry potter journal! the platform 9 3/4 one! brand new! but she got it at value world for two bucks! hooray for my mom!

speaking of my mom, i don't think she much likes the lyrics to stagger lee by nick cave. hee.

i had possibly the best sunday ever, and it is all because of two very very fantastic people, and two turtles!

work is superstupid and every day i am less and less motivated to do my usual assbusting. which isn't so cool of me, i suppose, since tom is on vacation AGAIN this week, so technically i have twice the normal load. i just don't care anymore. i am so close to just giving my two weeks so that when tom comes back, he'll actually have to you know, work. gah.

but a damn good sunday can still take the edge off a monday.

Sat, Jun. 19th, 2004, 11:29 pm

and i must admit that i am IN.LOVE.WITH. the new pixies song. squee. full of all sorts of silly poppy frank black/kim deal goodness.
lyrics, lest i lose them somewhereCollapse )

my momma's dog is sick :( she's all throwyuppy and lethargic and whatnot. she keeps wanting to lie in my bed, though i normally don't let her in my room (she's destructive!) she's fourteen this year so we are extra-concerned. poor miss raisin.

i have completely wasted today and that's pretty much okay with me. off to read some more y.a. novels (i finished the she by carol plum-ucci, and am now reading the house of the scorpion by nancy farmer - really fucking good, it's about clones. usually not my genre, but good nonetheless) y.a. fiction is helping me branch out from my usual reading, i like it. i may also possibly watch some kids in the hall, though i was saddened to learn that my as yet favourite skit, the male slave, is on season five, and they've only released season one. oh sad. for now the lost businessman skit will do.

i'm working on one of those long, built-up, heartfelt posts that will garner attention from all sorts of people except the one for whom it was intended. it will invariably include song lyrics, equal parts sadness and acceptance, and a healthy dose of "no matter what"s. how trite and boring.

i heart kahimi karie. and sondre lerche. and the pixies. and bebel gilberto. and pj harvey. and everyone else, except for about twelve people. yay.

Sat, Jun. 19th, 2004, 08:36 pm

what is this strange gmail phenomenon going around?

Fri, Jun. 18th, 2004, 11:59 am

sondre lerche is my new eye + ear candy. it is good to have stupid schoolgirl crushes on cute musicians you will never meet, i think. of course, he played may 18 at the magic stick, but of course i did not know that, and thus missed him. in any case: swoon.

i always come here with the intention of writing something worthwhile but rarely does it pan out.

i keep forgetting that i hooked my printer back up so instead of writing out the 53489589349539 classes i need to choose from for credits, i can print them. which saves me a damn lot of time. granted, my printer is pretty pissed that it's now spitting out nine pages, but i did give it a two year or so vacation. it better get used to this.

is it sad that the majority of emails i have saved are the dictionary.com words of the day? :(

and finally i have a bottle of my beloved tobacco flower perfume in my nubby little hands. squeee!

Thu, Jun. 17th, 2004, 11:41 pm

fuck this journal layout, i can't stand it.

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